I’m the kind of guy who will think and think rather than verbalise what’s on my mind. That’s just how I deal with things. I go over and over situations in my mind, and try to figure out the best way to approach someone, deal with my own emotions or just ponder a decision. On reflection, I’m probably just like most men. Where many women may be quick to Whatsapp a friend or call their mum, us men have the tendency to shy away from any interaction which may lead into a potentially long conversation. I can’t be bothered to talk. I can rationalise my own behaviour and put things into perspective on my own. Ask me if everything is ok and I won’t go into too much detail, if any at all. It’s being dealt with. Football is on.
What happens then? Because women are so perceptive, they can often pick up on slight changes of mood or off behaviour even before us men realise that we are acting differently! Our silence is almost tacet approval to allow your women to over analyse the situation and believe that the reason why you aren’t talking is because of something they did or said. Is he cheating on me? Am I pretty enough? Does he want to be with me anymore? Those questions may sound totally irrational but those thoughts can go through women’s minds on the slightest hint of indifference. Even women know these thoughts are often silly, but they happen; they just never tell you.
Before getting into a relationship, many men just deal with things on our own. We don’t generally talk to our boys about absent fathers or how we worry about our job or lack thereof. If we are in a relationship then we really need to. Not because a problem shared is a problem halved, or because talking about problems is the best way to solve them. We just need to talk more because of her.
Your girlfriend, fiancée or wife needs you to tell her whats happening. Not so that she can solve your problems, but because you care about her, and you don’t want her feeling shut out. She may not have any words or solutions, and honestly, sometimes even a hug from her may not make you feel better in that moment. But the truth is, she will feel better and less insecure. And making your woman feel secure, should be enough reason to open up and let her in. Even if you don’t want to talk right then and there, giving her an overview and telling her you don’t want to talk is invaluable to her.
If we can open up and talk to our better halves in the middle of our anger, depression or frustration and be present for her, we put her feminine nature of communication over our own masculine nature of isolation. You may be surprised how you feel and how she responds when she asks you, “How was your day” and you reply, “You know what babe, I feel…”